It’s painful but true, because they’re not missing you

I’m writing this article as much for myself as I am for you, because over and over again I have to remind myself to stop missing someone.

Lately my life has been full long, uncertain nights, nights when I’ve woken in the wee hours of the morning to a painful feeling in my gut. My stomach, twisted in circles, seems to remind me of how much I’m missing her.

People tell me that I shouldn’t spend your time missing someone that doesn’t miss you. And I know, like you, that this…

Sometimes finding out the answer is not enough

There’s a lot of talk on the internet about personality disorders, especially when it comes to relationships. Many people on forums and blogs say that they dated narcissists, borderlines, or a number of other disordered types of people, telling their tales and connecting with others with similar experiences.

There are thousands of horror stories of people who were love bombed, manipulated, lied to, and ghosted by their exes. …

Change is a fickle mistress

Change is a funny thing.

On one hand, change is all around us. It is at the very nature of our existence, considering that everything and everyone is changing all the time.

All the molecules in our body are eventually replaced as our bodies metabolize food and water and change over time. We grow older, our hair falls out, and we get fatter or skinnier.

Everything changes on this planet. But when it comes to changing ourselves, that can be one of the hardest things.

There’s that old saying “People don’t change,” which seems sort…

Probing the myth of true love

Sometimes, the two words said together can make my whole body tremble.

“True Love,” after all, is often said to be the greatest thing in the world.

From movies like The Princess Bride to countless romance novels, our culture is obsessed with ideas of soulmates, true loves, and relationships that are somehow “meant to be.”

I always have a hard time admitting it, but I am just as obsessed with love as the next person.

That’s why the words from this song resonate so much with me:

“I’m searching, for my true love

And…

When you think things are all your fault

It can feel like you’re drowning in an endless ocean, and the moment you come up for air you are plunged beneath the waves again, tumbling endlessly through the slog of water and ice-cold, stabbing pain.

I didn’t realize what was happening to me, but it made more sense when I looked back and examined the relationship. Even though the relationship was short-lived, it still has a hold on me, partly because of the intense passion that I experienced during the early days of the partnership.

They call it “lovebombing”, showering someone…

“I”m giving up vaping for good,” she tells me. I nod my head while I chuckle to myself. I kind of feel bad for laughing at this, but once you’ve heard someone tell you that a handful of times with little to no conviction to actually change it, it starts to feel like a worn-out charade.

The pattern goes like this: They “give up” vaping in the morning, do yoga for an hour, then try to eat a healthy lunch. They do everything right, for at least part of the day.

Fast forward to the evening. By 7pm, I walk…

And Time goes on and on

“There was a time

When I worshipped the ground you walked on

There was a time

When I’d cut off my ear for you

There was a time

When I worshipped the towel you dried on

There was a time

When I’d kill all my friends for you.”

From Curl Up and Die by Matt Maltese

Time. I remember talking about time with you.

The thing about time is this: It’s always going forwards, never returning to those days that have already passed us by, never treading backwards but forwards, like boats gliding along…