Changing your habits can change your life
Sometimes the days just lose their color. They all run into each other, devoid of feeling or excitement.
Instead of joy, there is the shadow of a life that is not being lived to its full potential. That’s what depression can do to us.
Depression can take different forms in different people. Some people find it impossible to leave the house; others stop eating, or eat too much; some cut themselves off from other people and sink deeper into lethargy.
For many people depression can feel like a mixture of sadness and anxiety…
You’re worth more than loving someone who doesn’t love you
“I’m tired of fighting
I’m tired of fighting
Fighting for a lost cause”
Beck, from “Lost Cause”
The other day I was walking around a bookstore looking for The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas, needing a good adventure story to distract me. That’s when a song I recognized came on the speakers. It was “Lost Cause” by Beck.
The song has always been one of my favorites. What I find especially interesting is the air of finality the song evokes; the singer giving up on having a fulfilling…
There is no easy way out, but one day you will heal from this
Narcissism is a scary and multi-faceted thing. It’s part of all of us. Many of us have the capacity to treat each other badly, use each other to get what we want, and generally act like a jerk.
It is rare to have NPD, or narcissistic personality disorder. But it is not rare to exist somewhere on the narcissistic spectrum. …
Maybe love just isn’t enough, no matter how hard we try
It’s in the early mornings that I really miss you. I wake up right before dawn, the fan whirring over in the corner of the room, and feel the void of where you should be, curled up beside me, whispering good morning as you roll over to kiss me on the cheek.
I sit up and look at the laptop, which is still open. I fell asleep to a hypnosis on letting go of relationships, and now the laptop was playing one of those YouTube videos of ambient music…
There is a time when you finally release it all to the wind
There never was, there couldn’t be
A place in time for men to be
Who’d drink the dark and laugh at day
And let their wildest dreams blow away
Cast Your Fate to The Wind by Vince Guaraldi
Those are some of the lyrics to the song Cast Your Fate to the Wind by Vince Guaraldi. The title, evocative as it is, beckons us to release the hold we have on our own fate.
Instead, we must release it, because we never really had control over it…
And I don’t usually drink
I’m not usually a huge drinker. In fact, I sometimes go a month or more without touching a drink, and that’s not even on purpose. It usually doesn’t appeal to me all that much, and I enjoy being sober and having fun without alcohol — usually.
Over the last few weeks that’s changed a bit. It sneaks up on you. One minute you pop open one little beer and put on some sad country music. The next thing you know it’s a nightly habit. …
Learning to get on with life no matter what the answer is
There’s a lot of talk on the internet about personality disorders, especially when it comes to relationships. Many people on forums and blogs say that they dated narcissists, borderlines, or a number of other disordered types of people, telling their tales and connecting with others with similar experiences.
There are thousands of horror stories of people who were love bombed, manipulated, lied to, and ghosted by their exes. …
The image a person presents isn’t necessarily who they are inside
The other day, while I was talking with a friend about the fallout of a my relationship with my ex, I put on the song “The Fields of Our Home” by The Tallest Man on Earth.”
I explained that the song reminded me of how you have to see through sorrow to a place where you know you’ll be happy again. It’s about seeing through despair to the “fields of the home”, the one you’ll share with the person you’re supposed to be with. The lyrics go like this:
When the relationship ends, there is no making sense of it
In the early morning hours I wake up to the sound of the wind. I reach over to grab the blanket and remember that I’m alone in the bed. She’s been gone for a while now, but still my brain doesn’t seem to have gotten used to it.
Some part of me still wishes that I could wake up to her next to me, that in another world everything would have turned out alright, and we’d still be together.
But you can’t turn back time. And with relationships, what…
The eternal draw of the past obscures the only path forward
Have you ever wanted to go back to the past and do things again? Chances are you’re not alone. Many of us wish we had another chance to try it one more time, to say or do something different and maybe, just maybe, have a different outcome.
To me, this feeling is somewhere beyond regret, somewhere in our mind space where we hope believe that there is a place beyond space and time where everything is as it should be.
The problem with time is that, as far as…